The Pain in "Bawat Pasko"

"Bawat Pasko" is the Christmas single of Kapuso artist, Jonalyn Viray. I wasn't really familiar of the song until a friend of mine (@JamesonWorld) requested this as a X-mas gift through iTunes download. We were enjoying a hearty meal of lechon belly and barbecue at the Banchetto when I purchased the song. JamesonWorld, who felt so ecstatic, immediately held up my Iphone for roughly 10 hours listening to the song the entire time we were together. I was able to listen to a few excerpts of the song and at first, I felt like listening to a tele-serye theme song but not until I heard the chorus when I knew it was indeed a Christmas song. 

"Bawat Pasko" is a fusion of culture, pain and vocal prowess.

The song mirrors the Filipino culture as its lyrical content contains elements that identifies the Filipino way of celebrating Christmas such as "simbang gabi", "children carolling", "krismas tree". But I guess the highlight of the song is how it makes you feel the excruciating pain of losing or not being with someone during Christmas. Sobbing during the most festive season of the year, so ironic, isn't it? "Bawat Pasko" is very relevant and relatable especially for the melodramatic people (just like JamesonWorld). May it be for a child who misses his mother, a lover who is suffering a heart break, a friend who passed away, or a distant OFW who misses his family, the song effectively captures the feeling of solitude and gloominess. Seriously, i felt a little depressed after absorbing the lyrics. Flashbacks and memories that I don't wanna go into details anymore as they create an imagery of darkness and pain.

Besides the relatable lyrics, what pulled me to cling on to the song, is the mystery behind Jonalyn's vocals. You'll never think that a song as sensitive and melancholic as this can melodically jive with her vocal range. Quite surprising that the climax was at the end of the song when she tastefully and effortlessly belted the chorus. Impressive and beautiful. Jonalyn's voice is a force to reckon with.

The song could've been a buzz if only it was released on an earlier month. I also believe that the song could be a top ten material. But at the end of it all, what matters most are the fans who truly appreciate and enjoy Jonalyn's musicality. Let's just say this is Jonalyn's way of giving back to the ever-devoted fans.  I'm becoming a fan now, I hope to see her live.

I've Learned That...

At times when we're alone, flashbacks are inevitable. They create a portal to the past. An open highway for the mind, the soul and the heart. Most people say, forget the past and move on to the future. I say, learn from the past and be a better person in the future. My journey to the past has opened up a lot of realizations, lessons from which, I may or may not learn from. I need direction. Hopefully, I can make ends meet - the past and the present.

In my life I've LEARNED that:

...people come and go. 

...i can feel so helpless at times.

...i am vulnerable and people can play with that vulnerability.

...i am gullible.

...i am caring.

...some people wanted to be cared and yet caring is not their thing.

...people will hit you where it hurts the most.

...i value faith and morality.

...i am a sinner and a saint.

...i expect when people make promises and get hurt if they forget or break it.

...i am selfish and selfless.

...people can deceive and lie to you.

...i lie too.

...what we see outside is not always the mere reflection of what's inside, may it be in emotions or character.

...i am superior but inferior as well.

...at times, i feel tired of fighting for what I believe in or for what I'm feeling.

...at times giving- up becomes an option.

...we can fool the world but we cannot fool our hearts.

...prayers are powerful.

...i am not a fool.

...being an option to someone hurts.

...i can play a fool so I can go with the flow.

...my instincts are sometimes wrong.

...my gut-feel are most of the time right.

...being high-profile is exhausting.

...i have a heart.

...i can want so bad and hurt so bad.

...true friends will stay no matter what.

...i can keep everything to myself and be happy or suffer in silence.

...it's hard to fulfill great expectations of the people around you.

...i am very very patient.

...if i'm silent, it's either  i'm bad trip, serious mode or mad as hell.

...i am jealous.

...i try hard to please everybody.

...i love 100%.

...i am a happy spender.

...i have big dreams and i need to work hard.

...i can hurt myself.

...my guardian angel is beside me.

...God is always forgiving.

...no matter how you dress a person, true character will always show.

...i can love and accept a person no matter how negative a person is.

...i am overly sensitive at times.

...i cry.

..,people can hit you below the belt.

...not all friends are trust-worthy, even the closest ones.

...i am scared to get old and be alone.

...i should choose what not and what to believe.

...a person will not catch you if you fall.

...people may not always be true of what they show to you.

...victory is sweet and losing hurts a lot.

...if i'm done with you then i'm done.

...I don't believe in karma but sometimes there are circumstances that show us what goes around, comes around.

...there's a thing called "destiny".

...God is indeed powerful.

...it hurts when a friend makes me feel small

...if my self-worth is broken, i have to pick-up the pieces because that's what's gonna be left of me.

...there's nothing to fear if it's the truth.

Nothing...Just a Few Thoughts

A few thoughts I've pondered. I'm indeed a human, sensitive and vulnerable at times.

                                                                        ***Why hurt a person who would never hurt you?

***I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

***Not making a choice was an option. Now that it has created a strong perception to everyone's mind, it cannot be taken back. They gaze at me with those symphatetic stares and with so much helplessness, I suffer in silence. As it becomes sporadic, I will be hit where it hurts the most and a laughing stock to people is all I will be. This is what i will have to go through...

 

The Lord is My Shepherd

Struggle, anxiety, guilt and fear. These are the  emotions that are crumpling my heart and soul. I feel helpless and scared of what could happen in the future. I prayed hard to God and day by day I'm feeling ok.  The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

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Miss Philippines Universe Ariella Arida Wins 3rd-Runner Up

Congratulations to our very own Miss Philippines Ariella Arida for winning 3rd-Runner Up in the recently concluded Miss Universe 2013 pageant held in Moscow, Russia. You make us proud. Despite the crisis that we are facing right now due to Typhoon Yolanda, you showed how resilient the Filipino people are. I personally believe that she should've won. Her answer to the final question was the most relevant among the other candidates. Though she stuttered a bit, hers has the most substance. Her Swimsuit performance was superb. I love how she turns and twirls and how she projects her face. She carried her gown well during the Evening Gown Competition.

Surprises?

The exclusion of the host country girl Russia in the Top 16
Heavy favorites such as Poland, Israel and Australia missing the cut.
China in the Top 16? Seriously?
Miss Puerto Rico (the rumored girl who walked out when Ara was invited to take pictures with the Latinas) failed to make the Top 10.
1 Asian versus 4 Latinas. Interesting, just the right placements after the "English Speaking" controversy between Ara and the Latinas.

Reminisce Ara's winning moment here. Please click the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xykUNUE-Csg


Congrats again!!!

My Miss Universe 2013 Hot Picks

Miss Universe 2013, the most anticipated pageant of the year, is set to be held on November 9, 2013 in Moscow, Russia. Philippines representative, Ariella Arida, is one of the strongest contenders.

Let's see if my intuitions are right until the final crowning. For now,

Here are my Top 16 Hot Picks:
(In Random Order)

1. Israel - The first black delegate from her country. She hails from the African country Ethiopia, migrated to Israel and successfully won the crown.

2. Myanmar - Myanmar is back after several decades of its absence from the pageant. The MU Org favors candidates who are returning back to the pageant.

3. France - Consistent in the semis but this year's delegate, though beautiful and stunning, is inconsistent in some ways.

4. Venezuela - This country is expected to place. No questions asked. Though for me, she looks very manufactured and moves so draggishly. Well, we can't blame her confidence, she is Miss Venezuela after all.

5. Poland - The Russian press just loves her! Europe's strongest contender. Top 5 for me.

6. Spain - One of the most favored candidates. Stunning and pretty. Another Top 5 for me.

7. Puerto Rico - Well, they say she has an attitude. Rumors say, she has a tension with Miss USA, and walked out from the group when Miss Philippines was invited by her fellow Latinas for a picture taking.

8. Germany - If politics plays a role, then she's in! Mercedez-Benz, a German auto brand, is this year's major sponsor.

9. Turkey - Possible semi-finalist. Another politics-play-a-role. Owner of CHI, who is owned by a Turkish national, is one of the judges and MU's Official Hair Sponsor.

10. Russia - The hometown girl! Not so beautiful for me. But host countries usually make it to the cut. Might even enter Top 5.

11. Great Britain - Stunning blonde! Great Britain sends the right delegate this time. She's a celebrity in their country and transcends beautiful pictures.

12. Australia - I find her quite voluptuous but she is breathtakingly beautiful. Aussies always make it to the cut and was in Top 5 last year.

13. Canada - She's a Filipina by race and was once a celebrity in the Philippines. Her national pageant erroneously crowned the winner, so she steps up as the real one. MU Org favors candidates that were victims of injustices just like Venus Raj who was dethroned but was then re-instated.

14. USA - Not a question anymore. 98% of their reps makes it to the cut, after all, Miss USA and Miss Universe are run by the same Organization.

15. Italy - If politics will be involved, she will make it too. Yamamay, an Italian swimsuit brand, is the official Swimsuit Sponsor of MU 2013. Nothing special about her.

16. Philippines - The most bashed and yet the most favored to win the crown. Ariella has worked hard to represent my country and I think she is doing well. Being among the few selected in major events such as the Tony Ward Fashion Show, Yamamay Swimsuit Show (which she failed to make it due to schedule conflict with the latter), TV commercial Shoot for Mercedez Benz and Moscow Children's Hospital visit with the reigning Olivia Culpo, she is definitely a fave. Strongest in Asia and possible winner for me.

The Heirs Episode 5 with English Sub

Fresh from the Oven! The Heirs Episode 5. It was superb! A lot of revelations. Suspensely "giggling" again! This is Lee Min Ho's best series ever!!!! Watch how Kim Tan finally reveals to Chan Eun Sang that they're living under the same house!

Click the link below to watch:

http://www.gooddrama.net/korean-drama/the-heirs-episode-5

Broken But Stronger (Songs In My Playlist)

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

1. A Little Bit Stronger - A remake by Danielle Bradbery (The Voice USA Season 4 Winner), as popularized by Sara Evans and also sang by Leighton Meester. Geeez, I'm not a tear jerk but I got kinda teary-eyed every time Danielle hits the chorus. Heart breaking yet empowering.

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Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan, Pag ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idaraan 
Nag aabang sa langit, sa mga ulap sumisilip 
Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang darna

2. Narda - A remake by Krizza Neri (The Protege Winner), as popularized by Kamikazee. I personally believe that this is the best rendition of this song. Originally, a rock song but Krizza's angelic and soothing tone definitely made it more touching and heart-warming. Gave me goosies all the time!


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And though there are times when I hate you
'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
And even now, while I hate you,
It pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

3. Broken-Hearted Girl - by Beyonce. Hands down to the Queen B for this song. Painful, yet tastefully delivered. The lyrics just hits me all the time! It brings out the broken-hearted in me


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You make me glow, but I cover up
Won’t let it show, so I’m
Puttin’ my defences up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack

4. Heart Attack - by Demi Lovato. You rock girl! I love the beat and I love to sing this song on my next Karaoke! I'm currently LSS with this song.

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These are the special times

Times we'll remember

These are the precious times

The tender times, we'll hold in our hearts forever

These are the sweetest times

These times together

And through it all one thing will always be true

The special times are the times I share with you

5. These Are The Special Times - A remake by Christina Aguilera (My Kind of Christmas), as popularized by Celine Dione. The first X-mas song I've ever listened for the year 2013. haha! I feel that this song is not just applicable during the holiday seasons but for the rest of the year. It makes you reminisce all the special memories you had with a person, memories that we'll hold in our hearts forever.

Save Me From Myself

I'm doing the most important thing a man can do: listening to what I needed to hear from myself.

I learned not to be upset when my team came in second and I learned not to be surprised when my essay won second place and I didn't blink when I was the second best candidate in my first student council elections and I was happy being the runner-up in class but then, I don't know why it hurts so much when I was cancelled-out or when I became a back-up plan or when I waited clueless in the cold while someone is having a blast with their priority;... after all, i used to be ok to come in second , right?

 Today's a masquerade, all the world is a stage. I forced a smile when I wanted to frown. I tried to show the best face forward when I'm hurting inside. I tried to act as usual but I'm struggling inside. It's hard, very hard but I have to keep up with the pace. 

At one point, I realized that I'm just someone who can only suffice an aspect of a human being and though I know that I can never become the missing piece who will complete the puzzle, I still hoped to be valued, but sometimes people don't make it easy for you. If it comes to a point that a person would like to remove me from his/her equation, then I'll accept it. Sometimes we can almost mean nothing to someone who means so much to us. We just have to live with it. I'm on the edge, crumbled, feeling alone and about to lose my self-worth, thinking who's gonna save me from myself.